Pillar of Stone

I’ve been a little behind on this blogging thing. I guess I should get back on the wagon. But my life has been kind of crazy dealing with things and all. But I have the best topic to blog on, I’m very excited to share this story.

So I am from Helena. And I am studying to be an English teacher. My dream is to go back to the high school that I went to school at. And be an English teacher there. I still bleed the school colors, and my heart is still and will always be at that school. There is where I really realized that I wanted to be an English teacher. And I want to be a part of Capital High School again.
Well I love watching the boys play football. I had the head coach as a math teacher, so I know him well. and when I was a senior there, they football team made it all the way to state championships. In the end they ended up winning the championships. Since then, the Capital has won 33 games straight. So this year my brother is a senior there, so I know most of the football team because they are friends with my brother. It is so much fun going to the games with my mom, and bundling up in our warmest clothes to sit outside and watch them play. So far this season they have done so good. They have won every game by so far. There were always at least 30 points in between them and the opposing team. So they have really gave the other teams a run for their money.

Well this past weekend was the Big game. The one that all of the boys wanted to play. The one that will determine the state champs. We were playing C.M.R high school in Greatfalls. We had beat them so bad in the regular games that they had come back with revenge. Well my mom likes to think that she knows what is going on. But really she doesn’t, but that’s ok. She likes to mostly go and socialize. Well this boy from our team was running the ball. And he was going to get a touch down. But then what does he do? He looks back!! And he tripped and fell down. We all know that you can’t look back because you will turn into a pillar of stone. And my mom said “Oh boy, that boy should not of looked back.” And I’m like oh snap! We so learned about looking back in Bible as Lit class. And so I told her. I was like “mom do you know about Lots Daughters?” and she looks at me and was like of course… I think I do. Well the guys who sat in front of us heard us talking. And this one guy turns around and was like yea, I know about that story. And I was like ok, tell it to me. To see if he really knew the story. Well it turns out that he knew the whole story. From beginning to end. And he was like “you know you made a good point by not looking back. Because look at what happened. He fell down, and lost the ball.” I was very excited to hear about this, that this man whom I did not know, knew about Lots Daughters. What a small world I thought.

Unfortunately we did not win the state championships. The football team did not play a very good game. And it was a little bit sad. But we will get em’ next year. But it was very cool to see that what I’m learning in this class, other people know too. Its not just something that I’ll forget once the class is over kind of things.

*in the picture- my momma and I at the championship football game

The Slave--Day by Day

Upon finishing The Slave, it really gave me something to think about. Through out the book I would take a little sticky note and write the page number and the topic I wanted to blog about. When I got done with the book I found that I had about 20 little sticky notes all over my book. I guess that was a good sign meaning I read the book, and enjoyed it but then it came to the decision on what topic I wanted to blog about. Then the perfect topic hit me. And I’m going to share this with the class because I feel that it went along with the book, and what we have been talking about in class.

Recently my boyfriend of three years died in a car wreck. He passed away on Tuesday November 10th 2009 at 11:53 in the night. He decided that he wanted to play a “fun” game and race his friend late at night on the streets, to prove that his car was better and faster, even though he knew it was. He does this all the time so he felt that there was no way that he could get hurt. I had talk to him like ten minutes before he raced. I told him not to do it, because I didn’t like him doing it. but he assured me that he does this all the time and he will be safe and for me not worry. But being the girlfriend it is my duty to worry about him. when I didn’t hear from him and I didn’t hear from and I didn’t hear from I really started to get worried.
I went to bed thinking nothing of the topic that I would see him in the morning and things will be just fine. I am woken up in the middle of the night by a phone call from his friend. He had told me that Johnny was racing and something had gone wrong and he had flipped and rolled his car numerous of times. And that he didn’t make it through the wreck. In those two moments of his friend telling me that he didn’t make it and me realizing that he was really gone my heart dropped so hard in my chest. I couldn’t believe that Johnny, my boyfriend whom I shared so much with was really gone. There are still times where I will go to text him, and then remember that he isn’t here anymore.

I guess I felt kind of like how Jacob felt when his wife Sarah had died. Jacob prayed and prayed, as did I. but then Jacob did something that I really admired. He got up, and did what he had to do to keep him and his baby safe. Yes I mean Sarah is gone now, but that doesn’t mean that he could just instantly stop his life for it. He had to keep moving in order to keep him and his son safe. I can relate to Jacob with the death of a signifant other. Even though Johnny and I were still in college I knew that I was going to marry this man.

But I can’t just quit my life because he is gone now. I know that I’m not in a life dangering situation. But I have school that I have to focus on; I have my family that cares about me. I can’t let go of my dream because my boyfriend is no longer here. Jacob showed that he was really strong in losing Sarah. I need to be strong also. Jacob didn’t quit. And neither should I.

I know that my boyfriend is up in Heaven with God and that he is looking down on me. Even though he isn’t physically with me, he is spiritually. Just like Sarah was with Jacob. Johnny will always be with me. I can’t do anything to bring him back. I can say what if, what if, what if, but what will that do me? There is nothing that I can do to bring him back, so I just have to take this day by day. Just like Jacob did. Day by day.

Prince of Peace, John 20

Lately I have been really excited to blog. I guess something about the class has got me really excited to share my stories with everybody. And today when we read in John chapter 20 I’m like to myself wow this story is really familiar to me. And yes you guessed it. Camp. That is why it seems familiar to me.

Every week at camp on Thursday night the counselors would re enact the death of Jesus, where we get to see the last supper, Judas deny Jesus, him being beaten up, and then finally the crucification. It gives the campers a real life narration of why we believe what we believe. And it shows them what really went on. We have a script that we memorize our lines from. There is also a narrator who reads and summarizes some things. And then we act this reenactment out in front of the campers. I remember when I first saw this I cried like a baby. It is just so powerful to be able to see this in person and around us. we have someone play Jesus, and the disciples and everyone who took part in this part of his life. We even have read torches that we use. So its kind of cool. and we even dress the part. With our “Jesus sandals.” Which are Chacos. But anyway so Thursday night is the night where we see him die. And everyone knows that he rises, but we save that part to Friday morning. And then after we see the play we take our campers and go back to our cabins and talk about what they thought about that. And there were only two times that I wasn’t in the play. And I can tell you it’s a whole new perspective when I’m watching it, and when I’m in it. even though I didn’t play all the parts I know the whole script by heart. and so after we get done discussing with our campers what happened, we go to bed, and then we get up Friday morning for the other part of the story.

Friday morning is all John 20. This is how Friday morning went.
The foot race to the tomb, and then the look in the tomb. Only to see that it is empty.
Mary Magdalene and the disciples run away afraid.
Then Mary the mother of Jesus walk to the tomb, cries infront of it for a little while.
Then she enters to see that Jesus isn’t there. Then two angels come out from behind a rock.
And they have to decide what they are going to say. Because if one of them says crying and the other says weeping.. it sounds like “woman why are you creeping?” crying and weeping in one.
“they have taken my Lord and I do not know where they have placed him.”
Then Jesus appears and says “woman why are you crying?”
She doesn’t know its Jesus and says “because they have taken my Lord and I don’t know where they have placed him. Please if you know where he is, tell me and I will go remove his body.”
Then Jesus says “Mary.” She gets all excited and cries “Teacher!”
They hug for a minute. Then Jesus pushes her away and says “do not hold on to me, because I have not yet returned to my kingdom… and then he goes on a little bit more…. Go tell everyone that I have and will return.” Mary runs up to the crowd and yells “I HAVE SEEN THE LORD.”
Then we get to sing this really great song called Prince of Peace. And all the campers love it. And it is a sad day cause it’s the day that the campers leave, but its also a good day. Because they get to see that Jesus is risen.

So when Dr. Sexson was reading this passage Fridays reenactment was playing in my head. And I was Mary one week and I remember crying teacher and then saying that I have seen the Lord. It was kind of cool reading this is class and knowing that I had reenacted it this summer.

Baptism=This Summa

The subject of baptizing came up in class. And now I know I was baptized. But I don’t remember it because it was a really long time ago. 20 years to be exact, I do have pictures and what my parents have told me. And I have this little shell thing with drops of water on it, and a candle to signify my baptism. But to me it’s not just the tangible things that remind me of my baptism. There is always that consistent reminder that I was baptized therefore my sins are forgiven. And that God loves me no matter what and I am a child of his.

Whenever I’m reminded of a baptism I always have to close my eyes and think back to this summer. As I do that a smile comes across my face. And I am instantly back at Flathead Lutheran Bible Camp. Every night we would have worship. You know praising Jesus for a wonderful day. And a closing of that day. Well at least once a week the people who were leading the worship they would have us a confess our sins of the day, then we would get up from our seats walk down to the shore line. The people who were leading that days worship would stand in the water. (only to about their ankles, we didn’t do the whole “dunk tank” thing.) and one by one we would go up to a person who was standing in the water. And we would get the sign of the cross on our forehead with the water. And as we do this we sing the song “As I went down to the river to Pray.”

A fellow counselor who was there with me, we became really great friends. She is such an inspirational person to me. Her name is Annika. She is the best singer I have ever head in my life. And I’m not just saying that. But as we would sing this song, I wouldn’t sing at all. I would just listen to her sing this song, belting it out. I would close my eyes and let the silent tears run down my face, because all I can hear is this powerful beautiful voice. (they were good tears by the way) Along with this voice I hear the children singing. And they are the core of my existence that is why I want to become a teacher. But anyway. I hear Annika, the children, and the water splashing up on the rocks.

Then I would be my time to get up with my campers and holding their hands we would walk down to the water. And I would wait for my turn to hear the reminder that I am a child of God, and therefore my sins have been forgiven. It was a great bond that I would share with my campers. They got to see what really hit my heart hard, and I got to tell them why I felt this way.

Each week when this would happen with our new set of campers the feeling that came over me never got old. I always cried and felt the same way. because to me this is something so powerful that I have of God. And its almost a tangible reminder that God loves me. The water. I can feel it warm, on my forehead and my fellow counselor telling me that God loves me and so my sins forgiven.

I will always know that I was baptized in front of my family when I was little. But when I was little I didn’t understand the meaning of baptism. Now I do. This summer when I was at camp I feel was a whole new baptism for me. Yes I was in front of my “camp family” but I got to do something that I didn’t when I was younger. I got to declare my love for God. To this day I have no problem closing my eyes and my memory will take me back to camp. Where I can hear Annika singing, the kids singing, the water on the rocks, a sun set to die for, and that reminder that I, Lisette am a child of God. That is what my baptism consisted of.

HAHA THIS IS FANTASTIC! WHY!?!

> Why , Why, Why,
> > Why do we press harder on a remote control when we
> > know the batteries are almost dead?
> >
> > --------------- -----------------------------------
> >
> > Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds'
> > when they already know there is not enough money?
> >
> > --------------------------------------------------
> >
> > Why does someone
> > believe you when you say there are four billion
> > stars; but have to check when you say the paint is
> > still wet?
> >
> > --------------------------------------------------
> >
> > Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
> >
> > --------------------------------------------------
> >
> > Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but
> > ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
> >
> > --------------------------------------------------
> >
> > Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
> >
> > --------------------------------------------------
> >
> > Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word
> > 'lisp'?
> >
> > --------------------------------------------------
> >
> > Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath
> > you use the bubbles are always white?
> >
> > --------------------------------------------------
> >
> > Is there ever a day that mattresses
> > are not on sale?
> >
> > --------------------------------------------------
> >
> > Why do people constantly return to the & nbsp;
> > refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat
> > will have materialized?
> >
> > --------------------------------------------------
> >
> > Why do people keep running over a string a dozen
> > times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down,
> > pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give
> > the vacuum one more chance?
> >
> > --------------------------------------------------
> >
> > Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the
> > end on your first try?
> >
> > --------------------------------------------------
> >
> > How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed
> > light fixtures?
> >
> > --------------------------------------------------
> >
> > Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch
> > something that's falling off the table you always
> > manage to knock something else over?
> >
> > --------------------------------------------------
> >
> > In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm
> > as it was in summer when we complained about the
> > heat?
> >
> > --------------------------------------------------
> >
> > How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
> >
> > --------------------------------------------------

Why God Why

Sadly enough more often than not I find myself asking God “Why me?” what on earth have I done to have these horrible things happen to me. (even when they aren’t that horrible) why do boys suck? Why is it when I study really hard for a test I don’t do so hot on it? Why does my best friend think that life is coming down on her sometimes? Why did she have to die? She was so young. Why did my dog die? Why is there war? Why do people fall out of love? Why can’t I find a good job, when I am a very hard worker? Why did this economy fall to the ground?

If you haven’t guessed it yet the question is Why. Why is it such a hard question to answer? I’m sure that I’m not the only one who asks this question. But lately I’ve really been thinking hard about it. I mean in my life, when I ask the question why I look up to the heavens and hope to find some sign that someone is listening to me and is ready to answer my question containing why. And then the book of Job comes into the picture. Because I know that Job is always asking God why. Why this and why that. Sometimes I think we ask the question why because it is out of our control. There are a lot of things in this world that I can’t control and I always ask why about them. I think Job asks God why all the time because he can’t control all the things that God does. We all know that God works in mysterious ways. And Jobs seems to be a little too impatient about these things. Like he wants to know the answer right away and he wants a logical answer to his questions. When ever I would get just beside myself I would always call my mom and sob asking her why? Why? And she would reply in a motherly tone and say “Lisette you will be ok. You got to have faith in yourself and faith in God.” At the time I’m always like come on mom this is not what I wanted to hear. But I know that my mom always knows best. And I would ponder that. Ok God I’ll be patient with you and have faith in you and I’ll just wait until I see this sign that I’ve been waiting for.

Another situation I find myself asking why, is when my best friend, she lost someone very important to her in her life. And when she found that out she thought the world would come crashing down on her. That she has no reason to be here if she wasn’t here with her too. I remember holding her as she is crying and she keeps asking why? Why? Why?... then I heard her say why did you take her from me? I think ahh I didn’t take her from you. She died it happens. Then the light bulb came on. Ahh she means God. God why did you take her? It wasn’t her time to go yet. And for a little bit after this death she was so mad at God. And I think the reason why she picked God out of everybody is because you can blame him all you want. And yet he will still care about you. He isn’t the one to turn the other cheek. She is still grieving over this death, and it will be a hard one. but she knows that God is not at any fault here. She just died because she just did. I mean its life, and it happens.

“I know that you can do all things;
no plan of yours can be thwarted.
‘Who is this that obscures my counsel
without knowledge?’
Surely I spoke of things I did not
Understand, things too wonderful
For me to know.
Liseten now, and I will
Speak I will question you and
you shall answer me. My ears
had heard of you.”

Job asks why? And he got the answer. We ask why and we get a sign. Why is a powerful question and word. It is one word question and it can have lots of answers. My friend knows that God did not take her from her. She is being a little like Job. But I think we all find a little bit of Job in us, being inpatient, wanting to blame God, and then when we get our answer, the ending is a beautiful thing.

This is the proof that God really does listen to us. And now he may not just come out and say the answer but there are many signs that He gives as his answers. But maybe sometimes its good to not have all the answers.

It begins with why? But ending is something so much greater.