P.S.

Shakespeare is/was a Stud!

Yes Please!

Doubt and Faith

Sad to say that this will be my last blog. Unless I come up with some pounding idea in my head that will some how work its way out, and end up in a blog. But I’m pretty sure this will be my last one. and how sad. I mean I wasn’t down for this whole blogging thing at the beginning. But now I can’t get enough of it. I love it. I love writing them, and reading them. And I am very emotional to say the least about this class being over.

We have had so many fantastic times, and conversations. But there is the shit saying “Every good thing must come to an end.” O yea? Well who invented that. I’m going to hunt down who said that. But now to get to the more serious news.
Doubts. Faith. This for me defiantly goes hand in hand. Not one have I questioned my faith with God. But I know that I have been tested in my faith. At camp this summer I had a small camper ask me how I knew God was real. Well this question took me by surprise. And I rambled off an answer off the top of my head to just get it over with. I said I just knew. Because of the cross I wear around my neck. But that isn’t a very good answer, and I knew it. the little girl seemed satisfied with the answer and she walked away happy. But I couldn’t get that question out of my head. For weeks I struggled with the answer.

Then a few weeks later I had high schoolers for the week. And during our bible study we got off on a tangent and my camper asked me, “Lisette have you ever questioned your faith?” gosh I said I don’t know. I had no idea how to answer this. So we all sat in silence for a little bit and I said I haven’t ever been questioned, but I have been tested. When my dad left for a job at the beginning of the summer that was hard on me. And I knew that it was a test to see if I could conquer it. and being a councilor to these kids has been so rewarding. But at times I would question why I had been lead down this path.

I told them the story of my first year of college. How there were so many chances, and things were so different. And the freedom. That was a test. I could go out and get my ear pierced, or get a tattoo and my parents couldn’t do anything about it. and I had to learn self discipline by studying the material that I needed to be successful. I could go out with friends and not have a curfew. I could sleep in till noon. But I knew that I needed to be the one in control of that. Not my friends.
I know that wasn’t really the answer that they wanted to hear. But I still have not been able to come up with a good question about doubting my faith. Then in class today, what a topic to talk about on the last day. Me already being emotional with the wonder presentations, and this question. Then yes, I came to the realization. That it is ok to ask questions and doubt my faith. I think doubting my faith and then finding a powerful answer makes you that much stronger with your faith. Doubt and faith are a compliment of each other. Isn’t that a part of faith is having that little bit of doubt? That’s what faith is, is just having faith, and believing in what you believe.

I was looking through my cat tracker today, planning out the next few weeks. And how odd, this bible verse is in it. “Where there is no vision, the people perish.” –Proverbs 29:18 I personally think this goes quite well with faith and doubt. We will continue to live on and have faith in God until the end of days.

This year has really been a test of my faith. With harder classes, my dad living in California, and then the death of my boyfriend Johnny, in November. But with every hardship that I encounter my momma is always the one to tell me. “Lisette have faith in yourself, and God will have faith in you.” This is very powerful to me, because it says that I have to believe in myself in order to be successful. And having Faith in myself God will also have faith in me.

I guess this is what I will leave with. What a great year in this Bible As Lit class. Wouldn’t of traded it for the world.

“May the Lord bless and keep you. May his face shine down upon you. And may he grant you Peace.”

Moments

Well the last Tuesday of the semester. And I gave my presentation. I’m sorry if I talked a little to fast or anything. for some odd reason I was a little bit nervous. Maybe because I was presenting this topic that I had been thinking about for three weeks now. And it was finally coming alive. And I know that the camp video was irreverent to the topic, but I’m a visual person and I thought that you might have wanted to see what my camp was like. Since I talk about it all the time. so you got to see where it was.

But over all what I thought I really learned from this class is to not be so judgmental. I was so scared when the class first started. And I thought since I had been a bible thumper that this class would be a breeze for me. Well it hasn’t been hard, just emotional. There were some days where I wanted to get up and walk out of class because I was upset with something that had been said, or was implied. But I know that if I was to get up and walk out, that it would have been a bigger deal then what was said. So I stuck it through.

I feel like I have gotten to know everybody through reading their blogs. I love reading blogs. And to be honest I am sad that no more blogging on this class will be going on. I have a friend crush on Jamie. So reading Jamie’s blog was so much fun. Then there is Nick Axline blog. I found myself wanting to read more and more of his blog. Over thanksgiving break I was talking to my cousin and I was telling her about Nick, and I made her read his blog. She looks at me and says “Ah Lisette, what is the big deal about his writing?” hahah well maybe it’s the English major in me that can’t get enough of Nicks writing. I always loved looking at the fun pictures that Natalie would include in her blog. I mean this is just a few of the people whom I’ve felt like I’ve connected with through blogging. But believe me the whole classes blogs were so fantastic. Each one of them.

But being in this class I feel some sort of security with everyone in this class. When my boyfriend passed away (about a month ago this week) I have never felt so alone. But for some reason I felt like I could share my story with the blogging world because I knew they wouldn’t judge me with the way I was feeling. And let me give a huge thank you to my Acts group. They were so helpful during this hard time. so thank you Karen, Ben, Kellen, Jenna, and Erin.

Recently in this class a girl who I had always admired, I loved her style, and her blogs. She approached me and gave me a gift. This girl whom I really hadn’t talked to, and just admired from afar. But she felt connected to me in a way that words cannot explain. Her story was similar to mine. And she knew what I was going through. So she gave me a gift that had helped her get through her hard time. she passed the gift on to me. She told me that it really had helped her, and she wanted to see it help me. I was so touched by this selfless act of generosity. How can someone who I have never talked to, can come up and do this gracious act for me. It was so heartfelt, and I can’t even explain in words what I felt the moment she pulled me aside. That moment was truly (in my eyes) a gift from God. I hope that this will not be the last time that this girl and I have this connection. I hope that out paths will cross soon in the future. And that we will be able to maybe have a friend ship. I wish her the best with her biochemistry major and English minor! =)

So in closing I have one more blog to write later in the week. As I am thinking about this it kind of pulls at my heart. I have grown so accustom to sitting down at night and reading blogs. But the saying is all good things must come to an end right. But I was thinking maybe I will lucky enough to take another class by our fearless shepherd!

My Final Paper!

Lisette Langdorf
Bible as Lit Term Paper
December 8, 2009



Feed my Sheep

For this final paper I’ve decided to pick the topic what I know now that I didn’t already know. As you know, this past summer I was a counselor at Flathead Lutheran Bible camp. I am a religious person. I love talking about God, and the bible. When it came to having to decide what I was going to do for this final paper I had some thinking to do. As I was doing some research on my topic I came across a poem that Henry David Thoreau wrote about a shepherd watching his sheep. I thought that this poem was revenant because we talk about the shepherd and his sheep. God is the shepherd and we, his people are the sheep. But in a sense Dr. Sexson in our shepherd, and we the classmates are the sheep.

Psalm 23 is the famous shepherd passage. “The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want” (Psalms 23:1). We the people are the sheep and God is our shepherd. By being in this class I’ve came to the conclusion that Dr. Sexson is our shepherd and we are his sheep. A shepherd loves and cares for his sheep. He watches them closely, protects them from danger and makes sure that they have enough to eat and drink. The Thoreau poem suggests that the shepherd watches his sheep, and that the sheep keep the shepherd company. The shepherd learns and talks with his sheep. Much like the activities we do in class. We have class discussions that the shepherd leads, but the sheep are able to put in their input and opinions. The sheep bring up good points that the shepherd will sit and ponder later. Each one of the sheep has something to offer the shepherd, from the bible thumper to the Jewish boy.

Each sheep is different in their own way. There is the black haired sheep, the sheep who sits outside of the pack, and the creative sheep. From the black haired sheep the shepherd learns to relate the bible to music, how music is inspired by the bible. The different abstract pieces of music, represents a different story from bible. The shepherd gets technological in site from the sheep that is outside of the pack. Who knew that he could shoot a whole movie on his ipod Nano. The creative sheep provides the shepherd with pictures and drawings of topics that have interested him. With every new blog that Dr. Sexson reads from his sheep, is a new in site that gets on his sheep and, how they are thinking about the bible. Then when he brings up our blogs to talk about in class, it shows that the Shepherd has learned something from his sheep. And he wants to spread the good word.

Each one of his sheep is a part of the shepherd. If the sheep struggle, so does the shepherd. “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me” (Psalms 23:4). The shepherd will stand by his sheep. He is there to love and guide them through life. He will never leave their side. If one of Dr. Sexson’s sheep is doing poor in his class, he is there to reassure them that they are other chances to bring the grade up.

“You prepare a table before me” (Psalms 23: 5). But the sheep prepare the table for the shepherd, by their blogs. Each blog that is posted is a different story, opinion, and feeling about the bible. These blogs present a topic to talk about in class. When the blogs are brought up in class it shows that the shepherd has been inspired by his seep.

The Thoreau poem represents the love the shepherd has for his sheep. Day after day the shepherd watches his sheep. But it never gets old for him; he enjoys what the day brings. “Did hourly feed him by” (Thoreau 1881). The sheep keep him company. The sheep fed the shepherd by inspiring the shepherd’s thoughts, and the shepherd didn’t just feed the sheep. The sheep satisfy the shepherds need for love and compassion. The shepherd has no words, or measurements just love and compassion for his sheep. “Held his thoughts as high” (1881). The shepherd has a confident attitude about watching his sheep and thinking. He is confident in himself, and he has no worries with just him and his sheep, his sheep are his first priority.
Prior to this class I did not really understand what Thoreau was saying about his sheep. But as the days went on in this class I began to understand the passion a shepherd has for his sheep, how much passion that Dr. Sexson has for his sheep. On the second day of class he knew his sheep’s entire name. He knew that he was the shepherd for the sheep and that it was his responsibility to help and guide his sheep through the Literature of the Bible. He accepted each one of his sheep, no matter how different they were from the next.

The shepherd knows that he cannot live life twice so he makes the most of his day. Spending his day thinking sensitively with his sheep. The shepherd may not have had a very glorious life, living with his sheep, and everything he does is with his sheep. But it is his life and he loves it. “There was a shepherd that did live” (1881). The shepherd loves his sheep. He is with his thoughts, and his sheep, in a beautiful creation. The shepherd gets the satisfaction in his life by being with his sheep. “Did hourly feed him by” (1881). The shepherd loves his life just the way it is. “Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life.”

When I was at camp this summer I was considered the sheep. Not until I thought about this topic did I realize that I was the shepherd to my campers. I was there to love and guide them just as Dr. Sexson is there for his sheep. “He leads me beside still waters.” Dr. Sexson represents a shepherd who is watching over his sheep, in this instance they are his students. He thinks so highly of his sheep, and wants to see them succeed.

At the bottom of this paper I have enclosed the poem that has inspired my topic. Dr. Sexson is not just a teacher. He is a Shepherd that is passionate about his profession of guiding his sheep. Being in this class has made me think that there are so many different kinds of shepherds. Some may be religious while others aren’t. Regardless of who they are, they are there to help their sheep along.

“There was a shepherd that did live,
And held his thoughts as high
As were the mounts whereon his flocks
Did hourly feed him by” (Thoreau 1881).


Sources
The Heath Anthology of American Literature. Henry David Thoreau,. Walden, Where I lived, and What I Lived For. 6th. B. Boston: Houghton Mifflin, 2009
The New Adventure Bible. Zondervan Bible Publishers, 1996, 23rd Psalm

The New and Inproved Kindle

We have talked about the new “Kindle” a lot lately. And I was talking to my mom on the phone the other day, and she had asked me if I watched the Colbert Report the other night. Because he had a guest on there talking about the new Kindle. My parents have an older friend who has one. and he loves it, he thinks it’s the bee’s knees, and that everyone should have one. he likes it for the larger print that it has. Since he is older he can’t see as well. so the large print helps him for not having to carry around three different pairs of glasses to read a book.

But my mom had asked me my opinion on this Kindle thing. but I’m not sold on it. I don’t think it’s the nest greatest thing since sliced bread. Being an English Education major, I think books are important for life. Books open so many doors. I’m the kind of person that I have to have a physical tangible thing in my hands to believe. And yes the Kindle is tangible, but its not the same as a book.

The Kindle is a piece of technology. To me my books are my prized possessions. On my favorite books you can see that the cover is worn down. And I have highlighted pages that I think are great. I’ve circled my favorite quotes. I have written in the margins with questions, ideas, and anything else that pertains to the text. I love giving my books to my friends to barrow, and then they look at it and know that it is a good book, because I have written in it. and I have had it all this time. I love looking and other peoples book collections at their house. I’ve seen houses (much like my own house) where they have book shelves to the ceiling full of books. Some books that many people have are from a different state, or country. And it is cool to compare the difference between American books, verses foreign books. Books have this tangible physical evidence of love, heartbreak, and generations. My mom has books that were her grandmothers books. And you can see the love and wear and tear on these books. They are so old yet so new at the same time.

With the Kindle you can’t see these marks on the book. The Kindle can hold up to 1,500 books. Now that is a lot of books. Along with The Colbert Report this Native American named Sherman Alexie was on there talking about his new books. And I’ve read two others of his books, and I’ve seen the movie that he has made. They are all fantastic. And I recommend them as a fun read. He said that he will not allow his new book to be available on the Kindle. He says that it will take away from the aspect of book signings. Also that it takes away from the publishing companies. Because it will go directly to the Kindle. They won’t have hard copy of books to publish and make money off of. And it will become like the music industry now. How people will go and pirate books off line and get them on their Kindle. Over all Sherman Alexie made a good point about Kindles.

It amazes me sometimes how far our technology really have come. But is the Kindle gone to far? Will people really be willing to spend $259 on something that they may never use? Why not save that money and buy a new outfit, or dinner for the family. To me it doesn’t seem like a item that I will be investing my poor college student fund into.

When I was at bible thumper camp this summer, this little ten year old boy would rather sit and read his book, then to swim, or play with his friends. A ten year old interested in books. Who would of thought. Books open the doors to so many things. they let our imaginations wonder. They allow us to have fantasies, and to become a kid again in our mind. They lead us to adventure that no one would of ever imagined. I think that the Kindle will take away the thrill of reading a book.

The link is from the Colbert Report! Check it out! Its pretty good!
http://www.hulu.com/watch/112243/the-colbert-report-sherman-alexie

Gifts

I have been going over topics in my mind. Topics that I want to write about and share. Topics that I should just keep to myself. And the conclusion that I got from all the thinking I’ve been doing is that well the semester is coming close to and end well I need to blog just a little bit more.

I was watching a movie of pictures that was put together of the bible thumper camp. And it got to the section of weekends. And during the weekends we would go up to Glacier National Park and hike and have lunches, and just do the whole lazy college kid summer thing. every weekend there were always someone going up to Glacier.
And I remember going up there one weekend. And we had gotten to the top of what it seemed like forever, we reached the top of the mountain. And looking down on the view oh my gosh I couldn’t even believe what I was looking at. I was staring down at landscape that was breath taking. And to think that I was standing atop of this hike and looking down at creation, it brought tears to my eyes. I couldn’t believe what I was looking at. At that moment I looked at my friends and I was like “ahh I think Lisette needs to pray right about now.” And we prayed and thanked God for this wonderful creation that we are blessed with.

Looking down at the landscape got me thinking about other fantastic things. How when the snow falls it is so peaceful. And when you stick your tongue out to try to catch a snow flake you never seem to catch them. Even though they are everywhere. I will personally go out of my way to step on a crunchy leaf. I love the way it crunches under my shoes. On the same drive home that I’ve driven so many times, I always am amazed at how the clouds seem to move at just the right time. and how you can find a shape in the cloud, look away, and the shape has changed.

God is responsible for so many amazing things in life. He is in the air that I breathe, in the wind that whips my hair around. A small reminder that he is there watching for me. I think that he was even influencing me to take this class.
Bible as lit. yea I can take that class. I mean come on, the bible is what I do. I had just spent all summer teaching it, and living it. so why not. Then I get in the class and all I want to do is get out. I felt like I was being tested and pushed in to somewhere that I didn’t like. But after taking this class and seeing the effect it really had on me. Is amazing. The affect is very positive.

I’ve learned that it is ok to question God. And just say why God why? Why me? But I
think that is what faith is based off of. Why and questing. I now know that it is ok to question God. I may not get a answer. But that’s ok too. I would almost prefer that I didn’t. because it keeps me looking, and it keeps my faith alive.
So this next summer I will take what I’ve learned in bible class, and I will run with it. I will continue to praise God for all the good gifts that he has given me. Because yes in fact they are gifts. =)

LOVE

Can you even believe that the semester is coming close to an end? And with the end comes new beginnings I like to think. Hey everyone has got to have a little bit of a positive attitude. With the current tragic events in my life, I figured I have to have a little bit of faith and a positive attitude.

I really liked the Song of Solomon’s class presentation. I am such a hopeless romantic. I would always have my boyfriend open doors for me. I love the roses every now and again. And I love getting the attention from a signifant other. But now since I don’t have that signifant other anymore it got me thinking on the love that we shared. And how Song of Solomon kind of related to me.

I love talking about love. I love seeing the little old couple helping each other out in the line at the store. I love looking at my parents. I mean they are one of few parents who are still married to each other and they still are madly in love with each other. My dad lives in California for his job. He comes home about once a month to see us. but it is so cool that my parents keep their love alive even though my dad lives a 1,259 miles away to be exact.

Love is such an amazing thing. how these feelings for someone can be so powerful and over whelming at times. And yet its was people strive for in their life. There are so many different kinds of love out there. There is the love that one may have for their friend. My bestie I love her with all of my heart. she gets me, and I get her kind of thing. I couldn’t imagine a world without her. She is always giving me support and helping me through the rough times in my life. I love her with all of my heart.

Then there is my other bestie, who is guy. I love him as if he was my brother. He is always making me laugh, and is there when I need a shoulder to cry on. Some people think its odd that we are best friends and yet we are different sexs. But I don’t care. He is my friend and that’s all that matters.

My brother I like to say is my best friend also. I love him like a best friend but I love him like I love my family too. My brother knows some things about me that my besties don’t know about me. So its cool that we share that kind of love.
And then there is my family who love me. Because I know that I am the apple of their eye to say. I am such a daddys girl. I love my daddy with everything I have. Sometimes I think to myself, wow one person can have this much love for one person.
Love is such an amazing topic. And I know that I only brushed the surface of it. but it is the one thing that has me constantly thinking about. How does one describe love? How does one express it? does the person you love, know you love them? I know that I am loved no matter what happens in my life. And I know that my boyfriend loved me. I know that my friends and family love me. And the one person who has the most love is God. And at the end of the day, I know that he loves me so much that it is mind blowing. <3
*THE PICTURE IS OF ME AND MY BROTHER